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Itty bitty little request :boost_ok:

I've been slowly getting more into the idea of turning my music stuff into like *a thing* rather than just me releasing music into the void and not really caring about it much more than that.

That requires ✨publicity✨ though, so said request is if you've listened to some of my music and genuinely liked it, or know someone that might enjoy it, it would mean a tremendous amount to me if you were to share the fact that I exist outside of fedi (e.g. with friends/family, colleagues, giant social media accounts with tens of thousands of followers 👀...). Not asking anyone to go around being a walking advert lmao, just as and when it seems appropriate :)

Key information to save you the need to look at my profile:
Name: Mira
Pronouns: she/they
Link: miraonthewall.bandcamp.com

Thank you <3

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Pinned intro, long 

Moved account. I used to be @heyitme so if you're not sure what kind of a mess I'll make of your timeline then you can have a look there first :)

I'm Mira (or Mi for the short/annoying version). I'm 20 as of posting this. I am non-binary (please use they/them), and apparently also trans which still feels weird to say tbh.

I currently work as a software engineer making shitty enterprise customer exchange systems, but that's not forever as I'll be going to uni later this year which still feels weird to say tbh.

In my free time I like to play with computers, talk to friends, make incredibly bad "jokes", write music, and stare into space feeling some combination of gay yearning and contempt for reality.

Here are some (most) of the things you can expect to see littering your home timeline if for whatever reason you decide you want to follow me:
* Complaining about it being cold
* Complaining about computers
* Complaining about strangers I encountered outside
* Snippets of WIP music
* Shameless plugging of finished music
* The occasional `mh -` vent thread because depression tbh
* But also some less negative self-introspection nonsense to keep it balanced
* Pictures. The ones with my horrible face (sans mask) in them are followers only
* Relentless waffling about whatever I happen to be interested in at the time, which varies dramatically over time
* Mediocre shitposts
* Outright terrible jokes and puns
* Absolutely no self-deprecating humour; I'm not good enough to do that...
* Sarcasm (usually marked with `/s` as I know it's often not clear over text)
* Being very flustered at people being incredibly cute

mh, gay ~ 

The first person for which it becomes comfortable for me to express affection in person is gonna be in for a shock when I realise I finally have some form of outlet for this like holy shit

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mh, gay ~ 

Starting to realise I have a serious yearning problem and like at first it was fun thinking about cuties and all the (mostly sfw) things I want to do with them but it's getting to the point where it's just making me depressed that I can't actually do any of those things.

So many of the people I've met here have had a hugely positive impact on my life, and I desperately want to express just how much I appreciate them, but no amount of text is ever gonna come close so I'm just sat here like :/

Being overly positive about my appearance (this basically never happens let me have this) 

If I can be a cute girl just with a skirt and rather clumsy eye liner (and a mask tbf), imagine how hot I'll get once I'm on hrt 😳

I have done too much standing up today my legs have decided to sleep.

being girl in public day 3 :) 

The good:

* Wore skirt. Was fun.
* Received compliments on both the skirt and my trans coloured wrist warmers :blobcathyper:
* At one point when I was just idling I was talking to myself and my voice was fucking on point 👌. I've had 3 days of near-constant practice now and it is absolutely having a positive effect which is really nice.
* Realised the student calling me "man" and "dude" was just what he calls everyone for some reason (after he was calling the guitarist I was with that as well and she's very definitely girl), which at least calmed anxiety way down.

That last discovery was particularly good though, because all the other students haven't said anything, so a tiny part of my brain managed to start being more optimistic about it which was a really nice feeling.

Also I backtracked on the super obvious lanyard idea after thinking about it and I think that was probably a good decision.

My overall feeling about this is so much better than it was yesterday holy shit. The skirt will absolutely be appearing tomorrow at the gig 👌

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I've hit peak gay ambivalence. Crying at how beautiful and amazing my partners are at the same time as crying at how I can't hug them and give them head pats and kiss them all over because they're too far away. This is a roller-coaster and I need to be up in under 7 hours so guess this is coming to bed with me.

family ~- 

My dad's great like 98% of the time but then for that last 2% he can be really insensitive which is kinda unusual cause he's normally pretty sensitive.

Like this morning he was literally clapping and shouting "come on hurry up!" in this really aggressive tone from downstairs and I had a mini panic attack in my room and when I came downstairs like a minute later he'd just left so my mum had to give me a lift in, and in the car home he made some comment about me maybe being up earlier tomorrow and I was just like "it's almost like harassing people to hurry up doesn't actually help" and he just said "tough shit I need to be there before 9" like thanks glad to know you're totally ok harassing your own children 👌

Hmm.

Is funk screaming <-> metal screaming a single spectrum or do you think there are more axes?

being girl in public day 2 :/ 

Left: contents of my lanyard today. Regular contents and I'd added an extra little bit that says "Mira ❤️ she/they" in letters about 1-2cm tall each.

Right: what the contents of my lanyard will be tomorrow. Regular contents completely covered with "MIRA" in thick red letters about 2cm tall each and "SHE HER" in giant red letters that you can read super easy from 10+m away.

If people miss this then I'm gonna start questioning how cis girls manage to pass because seriously what the fuck.

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being girl in public day 2 :/ long 

I tried out the different outfit but I looked at it and it didn't do what I was hoping for, so I put the big trans kitten hoodie on. Also added eye liner which with my mask I at least think pushes it away from male, but apparently not.

The not fun stuff:

What I'm realising is that I don't really care what name people use. Like people have been great with my name, but that's not the important part of it. I haven't heard "she" used *at all*, but what I *have* had is hours of the person I'm talking to calling me "man" and "dude" and it's kinda shit ngl.

Like I've literally put my name and pronouns on my lanyard in huge red text, I'm speaking in a voice that I have been told by multiple people (including the fucking voice coach) absolutely isn't bad. To the people I'd talked to in the past, I'm clearly just seen as "same guy with a different name" and just ugh.

I am *incredibly* close to going in wearing a skirt tomorrow. Cause like I don't feel that prepared to just wander up to people like "hey btw you know I'm a girl right?", but if I'm wandering around in a skirt and people are asking "why are you wearing a skirt?" I can say "wow it's almost like I'm a girl wearing clothes for girls haha".

The ok stuff:

Pointed out I was a girl pretty explicitly to one of the tutors and he was like "oh that's awesome" which was nice. Also there was one kid wearing a top with "love is love" in progress pride colours so that was cool, but I didn't get a chance to say anything to him.

Overall:

This is very tiring and I am gonna have to try and just catch most of the tutors by themselves and ask them to like explicitly point out I'm a girl otherwise I'm basically walking around screaming "I'm a girl I'm a girl" whilst everyone else is going "nice name man" and just aaaaaa. They're completely missing the point.

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What's the most "how the fuck did you not realise I was a girl?" clothing item/accessory to wear other than a skirt?

being girl in public day 1 :/ 

Ok, the plan™:

* Added another piece of paper to my lanyard with muh naem and pronouns so will see if that affects anything. Tbch I think all the tutors should have name badges at the very least anyway but whatever.

* Tomorrow's outfit will be more girl. Ideally I'd tuck a tshirt into my jeans and leave it at that because it's cute but it's too cold so I'll try and make up for it with long sleeves and layers, but try to still tuck it all in. Oh and also eye liner. Couple of the other student tutors turned up with really nice eye shadow and everything today and I'd go that far too but the last time I wore makeup for that long it was not fun so I'm gonna keep it simpler. Definitely going to go more into it for the gig though.

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being girl in public day 1 :/ 

The good:

* Basically everyone got my name right. Only person that didn't turned up later and so wasn't actually told so I can't blame her.
* No weird looks or questions or anything.
* Managed to keep the voice more or less up the whole time.

The goodn't:

* One tutor seemed completely oblivious and used he/him.
* Spent a good hour or two working with one of the students being called "man" and "dude" the entire time and slowly dying inside.

The unrelated-to-being-girl-but-otherwise-noteworthy:

* New student helper that hasn't done it before is *incredibly* cute and making brain think dommy thoughts but there is no fucking way I'm gonna manage to talk to him :/ like he has big twink energy and part of me wants to be like "put on the maid outfit" ><

Somewhat considering turning the girl up a bit with my outfit tomorrow, like adding some makeup and maybe wearing looser jeans that I can tuck a top into rather than hiding my entire torso under my giant hoodie (which for a light blue hoodie with kittens on it somehow doesn't scream girl enough?????). Then if that fails I could just say fuck it and go in on day 3 in a skirt and heels lmao.

Quote of the day, drug ment 

It's like one of those commercials like "this is your brain on drugs!" and they show you a picture of grilled cheese [...]

sleep 

Tomorrow, I'm going to need to get up 7 hours earlier than I did today.

This'll be an interesting one.

Ok, once my production skill is good enough that I'm able to induce bass faces in any mortal that dare challenge me, I am 100% gonna make a piece that's set out like a boss fight in a JRPG only rather than each "form" getting gradually more biblical/lovecraftian the music just goes into another drop that's somehow even funkier than the previous one, and just keep it going as long as I possibly can.

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Then it'll be like:

"I see you are handling my funk, but this isn't even my final form!" *is somehow even funkier still*

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Then it'll be like

*pushes glasses up* "hah, that was only 2% of my full power" *is funkier*

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Funk be like:

"sup I'm funky" *is funky*

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is not alive

"are you a boy or a girl?"
"im dead!"