Ari @raantuva@is.nota.live

Please note I do not accept follow requests from people I haven't interacted with at all. That's why it's locked in the first place. It's a control measure after years of being burned by online strangers. I'd say it's nothing personal but that would be a lie. It is personal. I don't know you. Not even a sliver. Go away until we've talked first. And even then I might yet place a stay on making any formal decision on approval or dismissal. I'm happy to let requests sit eternally.

Yes, hello, 1312. Land back. Indigenous style anarchy please.

This is an aggressively abolitionist account. I do not buy into the PIC, the MIC, the settler colonial state nor the fake concept of whiteness. I am also not a fan of retribution of any sort. I prefer recompense, equity and true freedom. Argue with your mother. I'm old and the only person imma baby is my actual child mmk? I AM NOT YOUR MAMMY. Pay me for my time, emotional labor and for the /usually/ gentle education and resources I provide (unless you've angered me and then just pay me for having to perceive your bullshit).

I don't want your broke, unspiced takes on issues that directly affect my marginalized to hell and back self and those who look like me across the world. We call it a diaspora (no relation to blogging service.) for a reason and we all are struggling in the same nonsense in different ways depending on location.

I am tired of y'all. On every platform including this one. :|

If I don't caption something please know it's because I literally didn't have the spoons. I think in pictures and translating my feelings to text is often extremely difficult and frustrating for me. That's what I would have to do to caption a gif. It's often not going to happen. It's not laziness it's literally "brain no words good rn"

I'd be heartbroken if I wasn't so accustomed to people treating me like shit. Some of these people are my own FAMILY.

It is not my job to make MY big day convenient for you. Weekends are nice but not required. Fuck you

When folks tell you who they are, listen to them.

What they say: "don't want to take the day off"
What they're really telling me: "you are not important enough for me to take the day off for"

I love that, because I had to do my wedding on a weird day out of necessity, most of the declines are "sorry that's a weekday I don't want to take off work" when I told everyone about it months ago and that it would be during the week. I'm absolutely shocked at how few give a shit.

I don't know what I would even miss if I were ti miss anything besides my child and she isn't in California.

I vacillate between very much looking forward to leaving and frothy rage at the way I'm being treated.

And then everyone is wondering why I have pivoted so hard to focusing on my partner and my kid.

PAH.

I have negative support structure irl. It's awful. Everyone expects me to support them then disappears when I need them.

Tell me you're not actually in my corner without telling me you're not actually in my corner.

Ticks me off that I can't tell someone an important thing without warning them first? If I am sharing that with you? Assume it's big. I can't be expected to ALWAYS preface everything. Also if you expect to be able to "have a point of focus" you are talking to the wrong person.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

—Frank Herbert; Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune Saga

I just wish I didn't have to leave them all behind and go to the EU. I belong to this land. It ain't safe tho.

Manifested a happy, thriving squad and I could NOT be more pleased and satisfied. It's really wholesome a d rewarding.

Mmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnope

My fiancée

I do not say this joyfully. She picked a very bad day to be a dick about money. I am struggling not to break down rn. https://botsin.space/@lesbianBot/108439092495134081

Oh my god it finally happened. I'm bored of my phone.

Alone

Also this has upset my wife and I hate that. I go out of my way NOT to upset her. I know ☿ is Я rn but like...I need a break. I'm falling apart.

Like this song came out this week and I have genuine reasons to be super fucking sad rn, can I just have some goddamn peace please? https://youtu.be/mu-yapbIpoY

Like I finally got away and processed my comphet bro you do not interest me you weren't even a decent friend! So grateful I moved away. He'll never see me again he can't afford to be out here where I am and eventually I'm leaving.

I may have to sacrifice a gmail over this tho ngl. not worth continuing to suffer just to get emails from my dad. I can Duo dad from the other account. I don't need to email.

Finally felt safe to turn off my email filters six months ago and my creepiest ex that went stalker for a bit fucking sent me a message. Why are men?