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i have deep respect for my friends the scientists. it is difficult and important work they do, slaving away in the lab, trying to make the electrons Fuck

Microcheating on my exams by studying before hand

brutally beat the cold brew teabag with the straw so that it may release its precious juices

We prefer to pick up our information through Nintendo Indirect: we find out what happened through people who watched it.

lewd adj 

skeh: "buttchug tabasco sauce to show them who's boss"

second hand cig smoke wafting in should /not/ be giving me the happy chemicals but here we are

hooting and hollering and throwing my hat in the air as a geyser of black sludge rockets out of the hole i've been digging, only to realize i have hit a deposit of fool's oil (sewage)

all right which one of you named a fleet carrier "catgirl costco" in elite

bass guitar? oh you mean the contrabass ukulele?

why don’t wrestling matches ever end during a commercial break

⚠️ critical shork update ⚠️ 

pink friend has been acquired 🦈🦈🦈📈✨

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is not alive

"are you a boy or a girl?"
"im dead!"